How To Pick Your Maid of Honor

how to choose your maid of honor

It sounds like such a simple task, doesn’t it? Picking your Maid Of Honor.

Bride and MOH

Who’s your best friend? The person you’d like to spend the most time with? (Apart from your husband-to-be, of course!)

bride and MOH

And while that’s not a bad way to go… it might not be the best way. I mean, it might turn out just fine. But I have to tell you that here at Bachette, we see - on a fairly regular basis - last-minute emails from a bridesmaid (sometimes even the bride) who is picking up the slack from a MOH who dropped the ball.

And that’s just for the bachelorette party. Think about how many responsibilities a MOH can have:

Go dress shopping with the bride, plan the bachelorette party, craft DIY projects, be the point person for guests… and generally support the bride.

Bridal Party

And that’s before the wedding.

Bride and MOH

We even found an article with the ultimate Maid Of Honor responsibility checklist. In case you're interested. (You know you are!)

Now, that’s a giant and fairly exhaustive list. Your MOH certainly doesn’t have to do all those things. And neither do you! Figure out what it is that you need your MOH to do. And if your best friend, the person you love like a sister, can’t handle even a fraction of those tasks… well, think hard before choosing her.

We’re not telling you what to do - but in this case it’s a pretty strong suggestion. In fact, Cosmo, of all magazines, put out an article stating that if you can’t pick a Type-A MOH, then you just shouldn’t have one. Something to think about. Plenty of women have planned fabulous weddings without a Maid Of Honor. 

So, let's look at our recommendations.

Bride and MOH

I’ve seen more than one suggestion to think of family first. And that’s great, if you’ve got a sister you’re close to, or even have a sister at all. But that lends to a piggyback suggestion: do not be pressured into making a decision.

Sure, a sister will most likely take any abuse you hurl at her without leaving for good (it’s impossible anyway, since you’re related and all), but your MOH should be somebody you want to work with. If you have a sister but you're not close (physically, emotionally, or both), then it's okay to look elsewhere for your Maid Of Honor.

Something else to keep in mind is your potential MOH’s life. You might have a type-A friend who you just know would be perfect for the job, but if her life is crazy busy - like maybe she just had a baby or started a new job - then is she going to have enough time to take on this effort?

One last suggestion for you: consider the job itself. Do any of your potential MOH's have any wedding planning experience? Okay, then, any kind of event planning or coordinating experience?

Wedding planner

Because those are the people who are most likely to succeed. They will have some idea of what to expect and shouldn't have to come running to you with every question.

If nobody in your wedding party fits that bill, that's really okay. Just make sure that your potential MOH, whoever she is, knows what she's in for. And that she's up for it! 

What recommendations do you have for selecting a Maid of Honor? Tell us in the comments below!

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